Oprah Winfrey on validation at Facebook Live

Oprah Winfrey spoke with Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, at the social network's live event on Sept 8, 2011.

Here are parts of the transcript of her thoughts on legacy, validation and what it means to touch others after 25 years and 4,561 shows.

"Every person that you encounter in the space of your life -- and (if you) impact them or affect them in anyway -- that will be your legacy. And when you have a life like me or you (Sandberg) and you have a lot of reach and you impact a lot of people -- and as I said on my last show -- everybody has their own show.

"And your Facebook page, you get to have as many friends viewing your show as you can. Everybody, every day you are creating the show that is your life and every person you impact you leave a heartprint -- or not. And that heartprint for every person that you touch, that is your legacy. So that when you leave the planet, every person that has been touched by you that is your legacy.

"I can't even wrap my brain around what that is. I don't know what that effect has been. I am just aware that in every moment and space and in every encounter that I'm making an impact whether negative or positive or indifferent or not."

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"Every time you really SEE somebody...(and) everyone is just looking to be seen.When you see your kid acting out, or if you acted out yourself -- and I learnt this on the 7th or 8th year of the Oprah Winfrey show -- that everybody is looking for the same thing.

"The common denominator in the experience of humanity is that we all want to be seen, we all want to be heard. Every argument is about that. Every argument is about: 'Did you really hear me?' You probably said that yourself: 'You're not hearing me. (shouts) YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME!' Because you want to know - 'Do you hear me?' and 'Does what I say mean anything to you. Does what I say have any value to you? Do I hold this space of meaning for you. Do I matter? Do I matter to you?'

"So when you're upset with your husband, your boss, you're upset with your friends, or your children are upset with you, it's because what they're really feeling is -- 'Do I matter?' All arguments go down to that base level.

" 'Does this matter to you? You don't even care,' you probably heard someone saying that: 'You don't even care. Do I matter?'. In all the years of doing the show, and I have interviewed everybody...Still trying to get OJ. I just want him to tell me that he did it and I'll be happy. I just want him to say that he did it.

"But anyway, in all the years whether I was interviewing rapists or murderers...I remember interviewing a guy once who...at the prison, I was interviewing him between the bars and he had murdered his twin daughters and at the end of the interview, the guy who murdered his twin daughters said to me: (whispers) 'Was that okay? How did I do?'

"At the end of the show I did with Beyonce, Beyonce in all her Beyonce-ness says, 'Was that okay? How was that? How did I do?'

"That's what everybody wants to know: 'Was I okay? Am I okay? Am I okay with you? Is this going well? Is this okay?'

"Everyone wants to know that in your life in one form or another and your ability to give them the validation that says: 'Yeah this is okay. It's all right. Yeah, you really matter.'...If you can do that in your personal relationships, particularly with your children and your spouse, the people who are closest to you, you will be a success in your relationships.

" 'Cause that really is the bottomline. The common bond (knocks fists together) that holds us all together: 'Do I matter?' "

Link: bit.ly/oprahlive